Take the Space Force Pledge

Pledge your undying dedication to Space Force, the finest branch of the military to ever exist in this or any millenium.

As a member of the FIRST Space Force Armada you will be joining me on an intergalactic mission to keep space safe from Space Pirates, Martians and most important of all, Russians.

I pledge to:

  • Tell the Pentagon to keep the money coming. Those measly trillions of dollars we have aren’t enough for nukes in space. I mean, c’mon, it’s not just nukes, it’s nukes in SPACE.
  • Encourage the best boss ever (the one, the only, THE DONALD) to still be the ONLY one to launch nukes. I mean, what would this job be if my boss wasn’t the only one that could order a nuclear strike and destroy the Earth? Lame, that’s what it would be.
  • Keep space safe from space pirates, martians and most important of all, Russians. And the worst space martian of them all, Vladimir Putin. (But don’t actually criticize him, he’s our BFF).
  • Don’t listen to those anti-nuke protesters or experts. What do they know? Nukes ARE AWESOME. And you know what’s even cooler than those awesome ICBMs? ICBMs in SPACE.
  • Never question our President. AKA the all-mighty and powerful John Bolton.

Together, we will drain the Universe.

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