Stop playing golf and do your damn job
From: [Your Name]
Most of us didn't vote for you.
And we know your campaign colluded with the Russians when you weren't busy bragging about groping women, ogling teenage beauty queens, and denigrating Muslims, Latinos, African-Americans, immigrants, women, veterans, the media, the intelligence community, our armed forces, and people with disabilities.
Admittedly, none of us are racists. Or misogynists. Or Russians.
And we don't belong to Hungarian Nazi clubs, run Web sites that cater to white supremacists, or even own a tiki torch.
But we are Americans. And so are Puerto Ricans.
Nearly three and a half million Americans in Puerto Rico have no water, no electricity, no food and no medicine. There are reports that Cholera may soon be breaking out -- CHOLERA -- in the United States of America. In only 8 months you have turned the United States into a third world country, wannabe-dictator and all.
When Texas was hit by a hurricane, you rushed down immediately for a photo opp and to help.
When Florida was hit by a hurricane, you rushed down immediately for a photo opp and to help.
When Puerto Rico was hit by a hurricane, and the island was leveled, you claimed it wasn't safe to visit, and then complained that the news reports on the catastrophe were "fake news," and that everything was going great.
And then you went golfing, and took to Twitter to mock local officials who are doing their best to manage a disaster the likes of which we haven't seen in our country in years.
As any child can see, it's not going great.
It's long past time for you to STFU, stop golfing, and do your damn job. Help Puerto Rico now, before a lot more Americans die.
PS Puerto Rico isn't in the middle of the ocean.