Do Not Hinder the Children: Let Teenagers Decide – Virginia 13+ Custody Reform
Sample letter:
We, Baked: Our Daily Bread and Supporters, urge the Virginia General Assembly to adopt a law granting children aged 13 and older the presumptive right to choose their custodial parent, unless there is clear evidence of abuse, neglect, or danger.
Children know best what truly happens inside their homes. They perceive when parents are sincere or when behavior changes behind closed doors. Silencing children forces them into harmful environments, disrupts their education and mental health, and can cause lasting psychological consequences.
Why Reform Is Needed
1. Adolescents Have the Capacity for Meaningful Decision-Making
Children aged 13+ demonstrate cognitive and emotional maturity comparable to adults, enabling reasoned decision-making about their living arrangements.
Source: Pediatrics – Adolescent Brain Development and Medical Decision-Making
2. Ignoring Teen Preferences Harms Mental Health
Children whose preferences are disregarded are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and behavioral challenges.
Source: Verywell Family – Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children
3. Youth Participation Strengthens Resilience
Active involvement in decisions affecting their lives improves adolescents’ mental health and fosters resilience.
Source: UNICEF – Young People’s Participation and Mental Health
4. Silencing Children Causes Long-Term Harm
Children who are silenced in custody cases face higher risks of emotional distress, substance use, and long-term psychological harm.
Source: NCJFCJ – A Judicial Guide to Child Safety in Custody Cases
5. Adolescents Prefer to Be Heard
The majority of teens want active participation in decisions affecting their lives, including custody arrangements.
Source: JAMA Pediatrics – Adolescents' Healthcare Decisional Capacity in the Clinical Setting
Case Law Comparison: Other States
| State | Approach |
|---|---|
| Georgia | Teen 14+ has presumptive right to choose custody |
| West Virginia | Teen 14+ strong presumption in favor of child’s wishes |
| California | Teen 14+ must be heard; judge weighs preference |
| New York | Teen 14+ may submit testimony or affidavits |
| Virginia Now | Child’s preference is optional, no clear age threshold |
| Virginia Reform | Teen 13+ has presumptive decision-making authority, override only for documented safety risk |
Why Speed Matters
Custody battles often drag on, causing instability, educational disruption, and mental health challenges.
A clear, age-based presumption accelerates decisions, reduces litigation, and ensures children’s wellbeing and safety.
Call to Action
We demand that the Virginia General Assembly pass legislation granting children aged 13 and older the right to choose their custodial parent, with their voices presumptively controlling unless safety concerns are proven.
Children should not be silenced. Children should not be trapped. Children should decide.
Baked: Our Daily Bread and Supporters
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